Sunday, July 10, 2011

I got yer Blue Balls right here...

A little while back I received a package in the mail asking me as a "blogger" if I would use a product and post my review on my blog. Well after I stopped laughing hysterically I told my husband, "Isn't that funny? They think my blog is a typical mom blog about laundry and recipes and cute anecdotes about how wonderful our children are....They have no idea they have just mailed themselves into a world of sarcasm and fart jokes.
And look how easy they made it for me: A canister of blue balls and a label that says, "Squeeze and Sniff!"

So I began my future blog post.  Do you know what I have here:
Did you guess Papa  Smurf's undivided attention??  Didja???!!!

Oh well, about a week ago, I said, "Well, these smell good so I'm going to give them a try." And the damnedest thing happened.  I saw my funny, sarcastic blog review dissolve like a cheap crayon in the dryer.
They. were. awesome. 
There goes all my Blue Ball jokes.  I was very disappointed-- the kind of disappointed my son gets when he expects football on TV and he races to the remote, turns on ESPN and gymnastics is on...or worse...ICE SKATING!  He will double check the guide at least twice because ESPN should NOT be televising anything where balls are covered in lycra instead of kicked, bounced, punted, dribbled or batted!

Back to me and my blue balls..err...Downy UnStopables.  I LOVED THEM. That's an understatement. By day three, I was ADDICTED. They are like little Downy Crack. My sheets were washed 4 days ago, been on the bed for 3 days with a husband who was promoted to first chair on butt trumpet (well I'll be! I did work in a fart comment!) and two pups who think they have a California king sized doggie bed they share with us. sheets and bed covers smell just washed fresh.  And you're thinking, "Meh! So what. A dry bounce dryer sheet tucked in the foot of the bed is good enough."  But no-- these smell JUST WASHED FRESH.  Like every time I open the bedroom door I am greeted with the scent of fresh sheets.  That luxurious smell that normally disappears a few hours after you make the bed with freshly laundered sheets.  Every time I open my lingerie drawer, it smells so good I look totally creepy standing there sniffing my own panties.  Every time I get a wash cloth or towel, it smells JUST like I am standing there folding fresh towels straight out of the dryer. You know...on that rare occasion when the towels get folded and don't just sit in the laundry basket on top of the "orphan" socks without matches.

Did I even tell you what it was?  It is a laundry scent booster.  Dissolving scent beads you add in with the clothes at the beginning of the wash.  It's not detergent, it's not fabric softener--calling it a perfume makes it sound like heavy fake scents are attached to your clothes-- it's just laundry smell extender stuff.

So...I don't get to make fun of the blue balls and the "Squeeze and Sniff" label---and, even worse, I'm addicted and doing the rah-rah mom thing on my blog. Geez!

The accompanying literature said there would be sample offers coming soon at VocalPoint --hopefully we can get coupons and find out when it will be hitting stores soon! Because I NEED to find out where I can buy a case...or two...or three... oh my.. did I mention how awesome my sheets smell?


Anonymous said...

You. are. too. funny. I laughted the whole way reading through this. The Papa Smurf comment was the best. I am tellin are wasting your talents.

Leslie said...

I think I peed my pants reading this. Cass you crack me up!