Friday, August 08, 2008

Weapons of Mess Distraction


Spencer wanted to make caramel apples. Fine--I'm a cool mom, I can handle this, right? Most of you know I'm not that great of a cook, but I normally fare pretty well in the baking department.
I mixed up the caramel ingredients and microwaved it to melt. When I took it out of the microwave, it was barely bubbling...perfect! uhhhmmm...No. When I stirred it, the mixture bubbled up like one of those volcano kit science experiments. Spencer is hollering "WOW!!! COOL MOM!" and I'm grabbing waxed paper and stirring like a mad woman trying not to give myself third degree burns with a boiling magma of butter and brown sugar.
The eruption finally calms down and I test it to make sure it doesn't taste scorched. Mother%$#^(!! Why did I just poke my finger in to taste it when I *just* witnessed it reach beyond boiling point??? And while I am trying desperately to cool my burning finger and censor my potty mouth, my poor son sticks HIS finger in the caramel to taste it because evidently his thinks I'm doing a dance of joy around the kitchen and not a dance of pain. UGHH!!
For the love of all things holy, I have seen Carnival workers with 3rd grade educations, 4 teeth and misspelled tattoos make caramel apples. I should be able to do this without injury and without launching a stream of obscenities resembling a sailor with Tourettes.
Fast forward a minute or so-- we both have cooled our fingers and have impaled the poor apples with the popsicle sticks. We coat each apple in the caramel and set it aside to cool.
Finally! I did it! They looked really good, too! I asked Spencer if he wanted one and he said, "Nah. No Thanks."
Brat.

10 comments:

Oscar T. Grouch said...

lol, sounds like one of my culinary disasters. Austin begged and pleaded at the fair for one of the carmel apples, took one bite and said no thanks. BRAT

Stacy said...

LOL That is too freaking funny! Sounds like something my son would say at the end too.

Kim said...

OMG- soooo funny. Love it.

Kathy said...

This is great! I will make a mental note to myself for when Aidan is older - next time go to Rocky Mountain Chocolate - it's super yummy and safe!

Cheri Pryor said...

So are you telling me you now have a festering, nasty finger? Didn't your leg just heal?

Amy said...

I'll take Spencer's apple!

Patti H said...

LOL that cracks me up you have crazy carnies too? LOL

Georgina said...

LOL - Come on - they do look good though!

Robyn said...

I'd have one:) That was too funny.

Paula... said...

LOL you two crack me up - oh the visions I have going through my head. So have you eaten them all yet?