Monday, March 31, 2008

A weekend at the coast

We attended a memorial for my Uncle Buck this weekend. He passed after a battle with stomach cancer. He did not want a funeral- we had a small memorial service and then a covered dish luncheon/family reunion with his urn (ashes) present. At first everyone thought it odd that a formal funeral would not take place and questioned "closure" for the family. The short Memorial service and then the sincere gathering of family was actually refreshing. It left the formality and coldness associated with death behind and created an environment where people could hug, laugh, bring children along, and stay all day and socialize. We always say that we only see the family at funerals-- well at this particular service, it was designed to encourage the family to gather and not merely pay respects, but to visit with each other. And not just a nod to each other as you sign the guest register-- but to REALLY sit and talk. On the way home, I made up my mind right then that this is what I want when my time comes. Cremate me, and take my urn to a big covered dish luncheon where my friends and family can congregate and talk, laugh, cry, visit, gather in communal spirit, etc. This is how I live my life. This is how I want my life remembered.
As for the rest of the weekend, while we were at the coast, we let the boys have as much fun as we could fit in: parks, miniature golf, Build-a Dino workshops, playing with cousins, etc. -- they had a great time!
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Anonymous said...

Hey! Glad I can get back on now. I had to go catch up on everything. I am sorry about your uncle. We will be thinking of yall. I tried to convince Steven that DUKE sux. Ha ha I am going to have to let him see your blog. H ewill havew a fit. Desi however will love it. Looks liek yal had a great Easter too. Love all your pics. You still are looking good!! :) Hopefully we will see you at Steven's birthday party. It is set for April 26 and so far here at my house. Not sure the tiem yet.Anyways glad I am able to know what is going on now. Love yall!!

Cheri Pryor said...

I'm sorry for the loss of a loved one. His memorial really sounds wonderful. My bff mom's funeral is this Saturday...and is being called a "celebration of life". There will be potluck afterwards (one of her all-time favorite things to do) and special music (her fav stuff) and I'm sure it will be incredible. Similar to what happened for your Uncle.

Robyn said...

I'm sorry about your Uncle. That is exactly how I want mine done. My grandfather did the same thing. There seemed to be a huge weight lifted knowing you didn't have open casket and the like. It was more of what, to me, it was supposed to be. A gathering like you said of friends and family visiting with each other.